Attachment to joy and pain: how to overcome suffering

Attachment to Joy and Pain

The secret to not suffering… from now on you can fly high without the fear of crashing!

People think that we holistic practitioners are immune to suffering. They see us smiling, they think we live in a golden, enchanted bubble and that nothing can shift us from the axis around which we revolve.

A sort of Copernican revolution where at the center there’s “let’s all love each other and we’re all happy”…

Today I want to debunk this myth. Because indeed it is only a myth and, let’s say it, it’s time to go beyond this aura of superficiality.

We too live in this world and deal every day with material aspects.

We have chosen our body as the vehicle to face this mortal experience. So we too feel pain, we too cry. I SWEAR! We too meet people and situations that make us suffer, we too face our karmic trials. OH YES!

So what? Here’s my story…

Lately I too have taken another good blow to the head, in fact within just a few weeks I’ve taken four:
in love

with the tax office (which is asking me for quite a lot of money… and I still don’t know why)

with the thieves who broke into the basement doors, including mine

I have always felt like an unwanted daughter and now I finally know it’s true

How am I? … at the moment I’m stunned, obviously, that’s why I’m writing now so that no one might think that I’m immune to blows!!

Do I cry? Yes, a lot, since May 2024 almost every day. Am I sad? NO, I FEEL sad AND I let sadness do its job — it too is an emotion that teaches us many things.

I FEEL bitter AND I let bitterness transform me and free me.

I feel as if a train has run me over… (things I have already lived through several times, by the way…)… really hard.

I’ve gone from a moment of incredible serenity to a nightmare without even realizing it.

At first I felt disbelief — after all, when you are hit hard and without warning, the first reaction is disbelief.

You look around and you can’t even understand why it happened.

Above all you are in disbelief because the ones who struck you are the people you let into your life, your heart and, for people like me, into every cell of your body.

Be careful — we are all afraid of suffering, so much so that we often give up dreaming, living and loving in order not to suffer…

But a universal law says that without loving one does not evolve… every lesson of our soul passes through our VARIOUS attempts to love.

Yes, you’ve got it:

we have to love, and love a lot… looooooooots!!!!

The Purpose of the Game Is

to love without ifs and buts, that is: unconditionally

to love absolutely

to love totally free of charge.

At the beginning, you love a child… there is no love more free than that. Even though there are parents who confuse love with control, with excessive protection, with replacing their children in order to spare them all pain (aaaaand here we are again… back to start without collecting 20 euros!!!!!) … and then the worst of blackmail: asking their children to carry out the mission that they themselves should have accomplished… and did not, out of… FEAR!!!!

Be careful, I’ll let you in on a secret… the opposite of love is fear!!! NOW YOU KNOW!!!

If we don’t love, we don’t evolve… so what? Should we leave the door open to pain?? Absolutely not… it’s about learning to live, learning to love, to fly, without crashing on the rocks every time!

A little suffering is inevitable, it’s part of the journey. So let’s cry, because CRYING IS GOOD, GOING THROUGH PAIN IS VERY GOOD, and I’ll tell you, it is fundamental to do so… BUT, and now I’ll reveal to you how to overcome pain without staying stuck in it for an infinite amount of time… and careful, I know what I’m talking about because I was the one who after every relationship (from the age of 17 onwards), between one story and the next, let at least two years go by… because “I had to rebuild myself”… every time I lost myself so much that it was necessary to pick up the threads of me again…

But this is life. Life is impermanence, nothing remains the same forever:

That wonderful painter and poet John Constable wrote:

“The world is wide: there are no two days alike, not even two hours.”

It’s our need not to suffer that makes us wish that the good things never end and the bad things never arrive.

And yet, how can we really be sure that something is bad per se? By itself? Events are neutral.

It is we who interpret and define them as bad because for a moment (in the infinitesimal time of life) they make us suffer.

It is we, with our emotional background, who REACT to the event by labeling it.

Events are mythological creatures…

when they arrive, we need to grasp their teaching

when they arrive, we have to carry out an action of the highest transformational power: to look at that event and be able to face it!

when they arrive, we must open our eyes, ears, and heart… and

carry out a very simple yet very powerful operation:

to write… write everything that your heart and your soul dictate to you (but silence the mind which, out of fear, only wants to spare you suffering, so it starts that terribly annoying and completely useless inner dialogue: “How foolish I was, I always get myself into trouble, I’m never content and then look, I get hurt… now I’ll avoid every person / every potentially dangerous situation… so I won’t suffer anymore”… but in this way, of course, I put life on hold).

INSTEAD LISTEN TO ME:

write and ask your soul: what does this situation teach me, what did I want to know ABOUT MYSELF?

Look at the whole situation as if you were the spectator of a movie, put yourself outside the scene… this gives you back clarity and pulls you out of the useless loop of destructive inner dialogue!!!

And right away look for little things to feel immediate gratitude for!

The result?

In this highly discouraging situation, where naturally my first thought was: “that’s it, I’m going back home”:

I saw how around me a great circle of love immediately formed. I’ve been working here for a year… but all my colleagues offered me every possible gesture of love and help.

I was hosted by a relative (not mine) to avoid a danger that has for now been averted, and we discovered we are kindred souls and in a week we truly became friends!

My friend who substitutes for me in Turin and plays vice-mom to my daughters, within two days put the basement back in safety.

There remains the issue with the Tax Office… but that’s money… it comes and goes as is always its nature. The more you let it flow, the more easily it returns… a terrible idea is trying to hold onto it out of FEAR of not having it anymore.

Of course, the matter of being an unwanted daughter is truly a very strong theme, BUT I have come this far thanks to my own strength, despite not having experienced unconditional love, and no one will ever be able to take this away from me!

And what have I understood?

I have understood that I am capable of loving unconditionally, beyond health and illness, beyond my family unit, absolutely and INDEPENDENTLY of others.

I have understood that despite everything I have not lost my center, I have not lost myself, my values, not having made compromise choices, my integrity and authenticity have been preserved.

I have understood that even pain can cling to us like a shadow, and it is we who must let it go… it is useless to wallow in victimhood. Okay, I am suffering, but I know that everything has an end. So I am at peace. I know this is a moment. I know I have faced a karmic hurricane… it was foreseen, even if I didn’t expect it to be so strong.

In this post-traumatic situation I use Bach flowers and Reiki and I wait with faith for serenity to return, bringing me once again Joy, Love and… Money!!!